Last week I was talking to a friend who had had a mentor for about 6 months. The mentor had really helped to give a different perspective with what they were doing along with sharing some business tips and a support to keep them on track.
As I walked down the busy street to catch the train after our conversation I reflected on what she had said and my own experiences of mentoring. Here are a few lessons about how mentoring can strengthen and weaken you.
Take responsibility for our own actions
There is a chance you will go away from the conversations with ideas and things to do. It’s not the mentors job to follow up but you. You are going to get the best from these relationships when you follow up on the tips you have received that resonate with you.
Don’t use mentoring as a comfort blanket
There could be a tendency that you lean on the mentoring as a means to find your magic tricks. Mentoring conversations are not another task in the calendar to enjoy and to hide behind. What I mean by that is that they are not there as an excuse that you should be doing something else or expect them to give you the magic potion for success (whatever that is to you).
Know your own direction
Mentoring is generally about someone sharing their opinion. It’s their thoughts on how they see the world and ideas they have from their own experience. It’s likely that you respect the person and take every word as gold dust. That is great but here is also where you can go wrong. If you don’t know where you are rooted (by rooted I mean your beliefs about your business) you can drift holding onto every word. Knowing your own direction will allow you to make the right choices from the gold dust you receive.
Be strong and hold your own
Great thoughts and advice allow you to see things differently. Mentoring should allow you to have great healthy debates in a safe space. You need to be strong and know which bits you will hold onto and which bits you will keep as knowledge.
Be clear what this specific mentoring relationship is supporting you with
Running your own business and leading a great life will include many decision choices. People love giving advice and sharing their thoughts (and opinions) but what is this particular relationship helping you with. It’s likely that you will have more than one mentor so what is the value of each (equally what value are you giving to them?). Different stages of a business and life will mean the need will change. Before you leap into a mentoring relationship be clear on what it’s for in the first place.
Above all else remember mentoring is a two way process — dont forget to give
Mentoring isn’t just about you it’s about the mentor too. Even if you think that you have nothing to give them your specific situation and experience is new to them and you never know what practical advice can help them.
They say ‘everyone needs a mentor’ and I’m sure you have more than one even if you don’t formally call them that. Being clear on what the relationship is all about and your role in it adds to its success.
